Keep Moving Forward

Well the semester is coming to an end, and that means that I may not be continuing this blog as frequently as usual. In all honesty this has probably helped me figure myself out more than it has helped any of you.

For this last post I wanted to talk about how to continue always moving forward.

I asked a few people who served missions about what they did to keep progressing, here are some of the things they said:

Devron:

My mission journals have really helped me progress. I reread the experiences I had, and it inspires me to live the way I invited others to live.

 Kami:
Good family members who have walked this path before! Their counsel and guidance has had a profound influence on me. Also institute classes have helped me maintain that daily spirit and have the scriptures in my life!!!

Bryce:
The thing that I think has helped me the most to continue the spiritual progression post mission has been striving to keep a commitment President Cutler (mission president) gave me to read the Book of Mormon everyday for the rest of my life. A big commitment but I have honestly strived to do it and have felt the little things keep my feet grounded and moving in the right direction. 

Lexie:
Being able to forgive myself and focus on repentance and the Savior. Because I keep making mistakes and will continue to do so but I know that what I taught others applies to me. As I focus on the sacrament I keep being just a little bit better every day.

Carson:

Keep serving. Being back from the mission, you have to start thinking about yourself more, but don't stop serving others. I've found that finding ways to serve, even outside of church callings, it's helped me to keep the Spirit in my life. Also, brushing my teeth daily. Clean teeth, clean soul.

I completely agree with what they said. Coming home is weird and hard, and there are a lot of ups and downs. My mission president told me in my last interview, that the next year and a half would the best in my life. I thought there is no possible way that could ever happen! But it is true. I am so happy. I have been changed a whole lot for the better and I definitely would not be where I am had I not gone on a mission. I think you all can say the exact same thing, whether it be regarding a mission or some life changing event.

It taught me to take risks, be bold, be caring, loving and kind. It taught me to be patient and persistent. It taught me how to work harder than I had ever worked before. It taught me how to talk to people I never would normally talk to. It taught me how to always look for the good and be confident in my choices, and most importantly above absolutely everything else, it taught me that our Savior lives. That is a pretty sweet realization that I will never take for granted again. But really that alone has completely changed my life. I have never been so happy and so at peace. Even when things are rocky or rough, really there is peace all around. 

So what do we do now? I know what. In the wise words from the movie Meet the Robinsons... "Keep Moving Forward". Be courageous and allow yourself to grow like you did at your prime. I think it is easier sometimes to grow on your mission because you expect yourself to, but why not do that all the time? I know I want to do better at that, and take any opportunity that is given to me. Do not stop progressing just because you can now eat your mom's food or call her anytime you want. Allow that time in our lives to change us, because this way we can do a lot more good than we thought in the first place. I still miss the mission every day. I still get emotional when I think about the people that I miss so much. But I love it here too. I love being able to progress in school and all that other lovely stuff. Life is good, if we just live it. 

Feeling the Savior's Love

One of my friends told me a while ago that when you get home you think everyone is going to H, E, double hockey sticks (hell) and then after a while you think crap I am going to hell, and then eventually you get to the point where you say, "Ah who cares we are all going anyways." Lately I have felt like I am in phase two! 

So let me get sappy and tell you all my deep dark secrets! Gotta love that right. I have told you how I have not been too impressed with my scripture study lately and last post I told you how I was just struggling with being patient and what not. I thought I better put that into better action. 

That day I had had a rough day, and I came home that night and knelt down to pray and I started to cry. I told Heavenly Father I was sorry that I was not better than I am, and I promised I would do better. I promised that I would not read my scriptures on my phone anymore but actually study, no matter how tired I was and that I would be better at noticing people's needs and reach out so that I could feel the spirit more.

All of the sudden I felt like a huge weight was lifted off of my shoulders and I can once again testify of the power of the atonement. It has helped me when I have struggled physically, but really he even cares that sometimes I do not feel adequate enough and he lifts up that burden as well!

That was Tuesday, Wednesday night I have institute and I am taking the Teachings of the Living Prophets class, we were looking over Elder Christensen's talk from last conference titled I know These Things of Myself It talked about how we can follow Joseph Smith's example and find out if these things are true, we talked about what it took to have a pure heart and a willing mind. You can find it all in the talk but it was once again a subtle way the Lord showed me that he was listening and that he cared about a 21 year old girl in Cedar city. 

But I too know of these wonderful things myself. I have had countless experiences like these, and there is no doubt in my mind that the gospel is true. When we grow closer to Heavenly Father it says He grows closer to us. I agree with that, because when we are living the way He has asked us to, it is nearly impossible to not feel his love and presence in our lives. That love is always there. It does not have anything to do with where we've been or even what direction we are heading. It is the here and now. He will always, always give us the strength to change.

Preparing for General Conference

General Conference is coming up next week, for those of you who do not know what this is, it's where our prophet, apostles, and other church leaders speak to us and give us directions for life. It happens twice a year and for us mormons, it feels like Christmas morning.... ha okay that may be a little extreme, but it is pretty great.

The cool thing about conference is that if you come prepared to learn you will learn. I had never done that before I served as a missionary. I loved waking up Sunday morning, staying in my pajamas and eating muddie buddies, while my mom told us to sit up straight. My dad always told us he was "resting his eyes" we believed him until he would start to snore. 

When I was in Wisconsin, that changed, and I learned the importance of preparing. A week or two before conference I started to think of some questions that I had for my life. Examples being; what can I do to better improve my relationship with my Heavenly Father, or what is in my life that is keeping me from being completely happy. You know those cool soul searching kind of things. 

The first time I did this I was blown away. I wrote down my questions in my study journal and then next to every time I received an answer I put a little A with a square around it. The whole thing was dotted with A after A. I couldn't believe it. Things that were so specific and so sacred to me were being answered by men and women I had never met. My testimony of conference changed after that and I knew that if this could happen to me, it could happen to anyone. 

I want you guys to know that the reasons why I know this is cause I tested it. I wanted to try it so I did. So instead of just getting excited to eat muddy buddies, I am pretty darn excited for the teachings that are coming. For the men and women who after months and months have sought inspiration to know what we need to know. I am so thankful for them.

On lds.org there are so many examples of how to prepare for general conference but I have included a couple of links to blogs who have great tips as well. Enjoy :) 

http://becksome.blogspot.com/2013/03/how-i-study-general-conference.html

http://foodstorageandbeyond.com/2013/03/the-ultimate-general-conference-activity-packet/

Sharing the Gospel... Member Style!

Hello all! This post may be a wee bit different than my usual rants, but I wanted to share about how I have continued to share my beliefs with others now that I don't have that nice little name tag to hide behind.

It can still be totally scary sharing something so personal to you with others. I think that goes for anything you hold dear to your heart. But like almost all missionaries, I made a promise that I would do better at fulfilling my calling as a member missionary. I had big plans, big plans people. I was going to convert the world and be the best member missionary that's ever been. Ask me if that has happened, and I will tell you, sadly, not even close. But this is what I have been doing to try and make a difference.

I got lucky. I have an incredible friend who is getting back on the path that rocks of righteousness. She is a member of the church and she is super stellar. I adore the girl, she has been a great friend and recently has decided she wants to do things right and prepare to get married in the temple. She actually just got engaged to a guy who is a great support. Cool huh, the reason I am sharing this is because when I got home she asked me if I could go over the missionary lessons with her. I was so touched.... and teared up a little. We haven't done them a ton and that is totally my bad, but when we do it feels a lot like the good old days. She knows the gospel is true and we've talked to missionaries but we all agreed her and I could just talk about it. Whenever there is truth, you will find the spirit and man that is a good feeling. This was one way that was kind of handed to me but I have enjoyed every minute of it because it has strengthened my testimony. Especially regarding the fact that you can still feel the spirit as you share your testimony with others around you.

Another thing I do is making sure I am fulfilling my calling. I am in the Relief Society Presidency and so when I am there I try and sit by someone new and awkwardly ask them to be my friend :) Worked in elementary school and it works now! I have met some way cool people like this. But even if you do not have a calling that puts you in a situation to meet new people. Do what you did on the mission and go through the ward list, pick out people you do not know and make cookies. I mean everyone loves cookies... especially me, you can swing by my house anytime :)

I have a couple of friends who are not members of the church, but let's be real we are in Utah here and believe it or not they have heard about the church before ;) They usually have preconceived notions about it and have made up their mind that this is not what they want in their life. That is okay, it does not mean we love them any differently, nor should we feel guilty they don't want it. That doesn't have anything to do with you. Just be yourself. When the gospel is the center of your life it will ooze out of you and you will have many opportunities to share your beliefs in a very non weirdo kind of way.

It is definitely harder to share the gospel in a natural kind of way, but when it comes up take any opportunity. I am still pretty awkward I feel like anyway. And when you've been gone for a year and a half there is not much you can talk to people about regarding world entertainment or what not. So naturally a lot of things relate back to experiences I had while serving. I don't think there is anything bad about that, and I am 100% it annoys some people but who cares. That was my life and I want to share it with anyone it just becomes a part of who you are.

Feeling Nostalgic?

I just hit my three month mark of being home yesterday. How crazy is that. It doesn't feel real, and when I think about it I still miss the mission so much. So I am going to mention a few of the things I miss about being a missionary.

1. Meeting so many new people every day -- I feel that you just don't meet people on the mission. You get to know them in a very personal and intimate way because you are always talking about spirituality, pretty much all the time. I really miss that. I miss hearing about why people are the way they are.

2. Learning -- There is nothing quite as fulfilling as sitting in a meeting soaking in so much knowledge that feels so good and so right. I mean school is cool.... but it's nothing like sitting in a zone conference.

3. The purpose of doing something you know is important -- You are able to impact lives on the mission. Every day you know you are doing something that is worthwhile. Something you know is so important to everyone and you get to share it with others. It's a pretty good feeling to be able to do that every day.

4. The people -- I sure miss all of the friends I made in Wisconsin. They feel like family, well now they are apart of my family, and I miss them as much as ever.

5. Recognizing the spirit -- I know I know, you can still feel the spirit when you are not a missionary. No doubt about that. But it is also different. Back in the "Real World" you are so busy with things you know are not the most important things, but are still things you have to do... if that makes sense. Like worrying about school, bills, friends, church callings etc. They are all good things, but man they make you busy. I felt that on the mission you have a calling to bring the truth to people and that gives you some pretty powerful revelation. Back home, I feel anyway, that because you are so busy it is harder to recognize that. I need to find a way to be better with this. Let me know if you have any ideas.

There are lots of things I miss. But I also love being able to be home. I am so grateful I can go home on the weekends and my mom will cook me food. :)  I also love that when I am sick or struggling in anyway I now know the tools I have to get through things, especially with our very loving Heavenly Father.... and my very loving parents.

 I was reading in my scriptures the other day and I will just share a quick thing of what I learned. This is revelation given to Oliver Cowdery in Doctrine and Covenants Section 8 (you can find this on lds.org) it says:

"Oliver Cowdery, verily, verily, I say unto you, that assuredly as the Lord liveth, who is your God and your Redeemer, even so surely shall you receive a knowledge of whatsoever things you shall ask in faith, with an honest heart, believing that you shall receive a knowledge concerning the engravings of the old records, which are ancient, which contain those parts of my scripture which has been spoken by the manifestation of my Spirit."

I think this is so cool because of what we are doing in our lives right now. I don't know about you, but I am not translating scripture. I am just trying to do well in school, but I know the Lord cares about that. I know that He knows my mission, and He knows the things I have learned. And He knows that I miss it, but if I learned anything at all from the Mission and from our Savior, it is that he pushes us out of our comfort zone again and again and again. So now it's time to move forward and makes this next year and a half, the best one I've ever had by remembering and living the things I learned from being a missionary.

If you would like some additional information, here is an awesome link I found for some advice.
http://www.thereturnedmissionary.com/advice-for-returned-missionaries/

Funny Awkward Return Missionary Stories

So what is better than an awkward missionary story? Multiple awkward missionary stories. I tell ya, these are good!! I asked some of my friends and family to share a little something something about when they came home. It is hilarious. This is definitely my favorite post so far. Enjoy, and let me know what you think :)

Bryce shared this little number:

"One evening within the first few days of me being back... My family and I were leaving out the front door to go somewhere. I was in front of everyone ready to leave and then I had "missionary muscle memory" kick in as I began to kneel to pray before we left out the door. My whole family thought it was the funniest thing ! I did to.. I was dyin."

Kami shared this:

"So the fellas expect a hug and the end of the date. And instead of giving a hug you change the conversation to.... Giving his car a name. Then he gives you a hug and you lean in like Sheldon off the Big Bang Theory and awkwardly embrace!" -- Who can relate to this? Hands in the air!!

Kaohi said:

"So my funny is story is coming home and not understanding social media and what is the "in" site to use. My cousins had to explain it to me in different examples of the same experience to help me understand what I should post on Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter because it has changed.

Also getting a phone and asking my 9 year old sister to help me figure out how to work it. And then her shaking her head and saying, "oh kaohi!"

Oh and not being able to leave my mothers side or be alone. Sometimes I would have to resort to taking my dog with me so I'm not alone :)"

Lorri shared this, I was laughing really hard on this one because I almost shared a mormon.org card with a girl in Cafe Rio in Salt Lake City when I first got home... pretty sure she had heard about the church before:

"After boarding the New York Chinatown bus around midnight, I found an empty seat and hoped to relax and maybe even sleep during the four hour trip to Washington DC. I was on my way to meet my mission trainer, who was getting married, and college friend, who randomly knew my trainer.  A flustered girl about my age plopped down on the seat next to me. She thought for a few moments then turned to me and said "I'm sorry by I just have to talk with someone. I just lost my favorite shoes in a cab." I listened to her recount her terrible day of an interview and then losing her shoes, which sounds like it would be brief but I got no sleep on the 4 hour bus ride. Since I had contacted lots of people on public transportation on my mission, it felt totally natural and normal to bring up the gospel with this girl. I don’t remember how I did it exactly but I awkwardly invited her to learn about Jesus Christ. She shot me down before I even had the whole sentence out. She wanted to talk forever about things important to her: the shoes and the interview. I wanted to talk about something important to me: religion. It seemed like a fair and normal exchange except I had brought up the taboo subject of my personal belief in Jesus Christ. Apparently I had a lot to learn and remember about how to deal with strangers in America."

Adam, my brother-in-law shared this, one of the first things he said to me was referring to this... followed by that lovely little question: 

"Not the most awkward, but rather, the most common awkward event that happens to all RM's all came down to a single, solitary, yet extremely loaded, question: "How was your mission?

This frequently used question is rarely used in a setting in which a RM has an appropriate amount of time to give a quality summary of past years events, But typically used in the place of casual salutations in situation like waiting in line at a grocery store, in the hall between church meetings, or mid-wave from the old guy in his garden while you are on your morning jog.

How does one expect a quality crisp answer in such candid situations? And how could a person abridge 1 1/2 - 2 years into small phrase or paragraph while still doing your mission justice?

Also, there are serious ramifications if you answer poorly. If you answer the question with "It was fun", People are quick to judge you as a Goof-off. If your answer is "It was tough", then you are a sissy because "garden grandpa's" granddaughter served and it was not tough. If "it was a good time", then you didnt take the mission serious and you short-changed the Lord.

It's awkward.  It's an inevitable question. I personal chose to use the response, "It was great!" then nothing more to preserve the integrity of my mission and the reputation I have in the mind of the old folk in the neighborhood.

As much as I hate that question. I undoubtedly use it on every recently returned missionary.... Because it part of the RM experience."

Lexi said:

"So my family isn't really into public praying over food and stuff like that. We live by the spirit of having a prayer in your heart. However, on my mission I got into the habit of saying a vocal prayer when at restaurants. My first lunch after getting home we went to a local restaurant that I love. We got our food and I folded my arms and looked expectantly at my parents. They both looked at me like I was a little crazy, then at each other. They laughed and reluctantly folded their arms and I said the prayer. They teased me for a while after that one. I said prayers in my head at restaurants when I was with them after that. 

Justin said: 

"I would always answer the phone by saying, 'Hey, this is Elder Brown."

Kelly shared:

"One time I said "gracias" to an Asian lady in a candy store!" and "there's the classic you shake a man's hand, not hug. And a guy goes in for a hug and you extend your hand and he awkwardly body shakes you!"

Okay this one is probably my favorite Carson said:

"I work at SUU, and we had to make phone calls out to students to promote something for the school. If they didn’t answer, we were supposed to leave a message. As I was leaving a message to a student, I gave him the information about the activity and accidentally ended it with “And I say these things in the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.” I caught myself right before I finished the whole phrase by hanging up."

Well I sure hope you have enjoyed these as much as I have. Holy smokes, at least they help you realize you are so not alone in being this awkward... and if you haven't experienced this well, you've got some work to do.

Here it Comes.... the Hug

Mission Rule #1 -- Do not have relationships with boys, no hugging no kissing, no flirting etc.

So I got home, things were going pretty well. My family all came in and we were just livin the dream playing games and what not. Then I hear a knock on the door. It was one of my best friends from college and.... a boy. That is right. I was so excited to see them I ran up and gave her a hug, and well did what I did for my entire mission..... I stuck out my hand to shake his. He started to laugh until he realized I wasn't kidding and said, "Oh you've got to be kidding" I did that awkward laugh chuckle thing where you are trying to pretend you are joking but you are so not. Yeah it was weird. I know.

For a good 2 to 3 weeks every time a guy came up to me I cringed not really knowing what to do.

Here is a really good article I found about why it is okay to be as awkward as we are!

http://www.ldsliving.com/story/77363-psychologist-explains-why-rm-awkwardness-is-normal?utm_source=ldsliving&utm_medium=email

and if that doesn't make you feel like a million bucks I am not sure what will :)

I thought this shirt was pretty funny though.

I it getting a wee bit better. No worries. I can side hug ya like a boss!

The First Couple of Lovely Days Back Home

So for those of you who do not know on a mission you live by a pretty strict schedule with really strict rules. You don't date, you wake up at 6:30 every morning, you study the scriptures for 2 hours every day, you don't watch any movies or tv or anything like that, and your entire purpose is to teach about the gospel of Jesus Christ which you do from sun up to sun down. So anything that doesn't coincide with that is kicked to the curb. It's actually pretty nice after a while. But can you imagine coming home from that!!! This is where the phrase "awkward return missionary" comes from!! You have just learned a completely new lifestyle and then they drop kick you into the real world and badda bing badda boom, swim!!

I found this on pinterest and I was dying it is so funny and so true!!

http://utahvalley360.com/2014/01/21/18-awkward-moments-every-recently-returned-missionary-experiences/

While we were in the airport my mom made a funny comment making fun of something or someone and I looked at her and gasped thinking she was going straight to hell.... I know, ridiculous right! She looked back at me like what has happened to my daughter and I begin to laugh and explain she will just have to be patient with me for a bit and secretly thinking what in the world happened to my family!

I have heard coming home be compared to post traumatic stress disorder, it is like a little mini version of that for the first couple days when you are home, at least it was for me. It was so weird being back. I got home home, like stepped foot in the house I grew up in and seriously just started sobbing. So much so that my dad had to hold me up. I felt like my life was over!! Dramatic huh! The next day didn't seem real I set my alarm to wake up at 6:30 so I could study my scriptures and exercise and keep that schedule, but my mom swiped my phone, which was actually her phone, in the middle of the night so that I would sleep. Ha talk about waking up in a panic, well played mom, well played.

Later that week I went to see my Bishop, he is a local church leader that volunteers his time and services to help out the congregation, and he asked me if I had sat down my parents and chewed them out yet, he said when he got home he chastised his parents for drinking diet coke. Funny huh!!! He then looked at me and said, "Please don't be like that" :) I replied, "I'll do my best, but I am not making any promises"

SOOOO I don't know if you will be able to relate or not to this. I hope so, at least you know that you were not alone in feeling like a lost child in a Christmas store. The first couple of days were rough. Oh my, my brother's first basketball game, we won't even get into that. But it gets better I promise it gets better.

Coming Home

It's hard to believe that a little over a year and a half ago I was embarking on one big adventure. I was called to serve as a missionary in the Wisconsin Milwaukee Mission and it truly was the greatest year and a half I could have asked for. I've included a couple of Wisconsin adventure pictures, I will be straight up honest I am horrible at taking pictures but I found these from the old email

Teaching some steller guys with sweet staches

The wonderful Hannah!

I had no idea what was in store for me. Holy cow, I had no idea. The tears of happiness the tears of despair and sadness, the tiredness, oh for sure the tiredness, the blisters, how big my hair actually ended up getting in humidity, the incomprehensible joy, and the complete peace in knowing that the Lord is aware of you and loves you more than you thought possible. I could not have asked for a better year and a half.

But I am back to the real world baby!

You know how when you decide to go on a mish, everyone tells you it's going to be the best thing in the world and the hardest. You can kinda prep yourself for it, like when you watch people do work out videos you think you know absolutely everything, until you actually do it yourself and then those girls in the yoga pants whip you right into shape, yeah kinda the same right? That's probably a bad analogy but I have done that more often than what I am proud of. Well, I am here to tell you they don't really do that for when you get back!! My older sister Kammi mentioned to her two return missionary friends that I was coming home, and they cringed and said, "Oh man, we are so sorry!" I laughed pretty hard at that and realized I was not alone in this almost as awkward as middle school phase of life I am now in. This is a blog about all the craziness that happens when you are home. How do I get back into the swing of things? Well, I am still figuring it out so I will keep you up to date on all the good things about that and test run it for you, don't you even worry!

I have been home one month now and you get ready for some good stories. It has been quite the adventure month if I say so myself.

I'll just give you one awkward story of the road. So I get back, it's great. Hug the fam and race them to the car so that we can go get some Cafe Rio, which I may have missed more than my younger brother! Ha kidding! We get our food and my family starts to eat and I fold my arms to pray over the food and just stare at them. One by one they look at me and slowly put down their fork along with their head and say, "No, we're really going to do this?" I don't know about you, but my family is not used to praying in public. I just smile and say, "Ah yeah!" I think that was the fastest prayer I have ever heard.