Keep Moving Forward

Well the semester is coming to an end, and that means that I may not be continuing this blog as frequently as usual. In all honesty this has probably helped me figure myself out more than it has helped any of you.

For this last post I wanted to talk about how to continue always moving forward.

I asked a few people who served missions about what they did to keep progressing, here are some of the things they said:

Devron:

My mission journals have really helped me progress. I reread the experiences I had, and it inspires me to live the way I invited others to live.

 Kami:
Good family members who have walked this path before! Their counsel and guidance has had a profound influence on me. Also institute classes have helped me maintain that daily spirit and have the scriptures in my life!!!

Bryce:
The thing that I think has helped me the most to continue the spiritual progression post mission has been striving to keep a commitment President Cutler (mission president) gave me to read the Book of Mormon everyday for the rest of my life. A big commitment but I have honestly strived to do it and have felt the little things keep my feet grounded and moving in the right direction. 

Lexie:
Being able to forgive myself and focus on repentance and the Savior. Because I keep making mistakes and will continue to do so but I know that what I taught others applies to me. As I focus on the sacrament I keep being just a little bit better every day.

Carson:

Keep serving. Being back from the mission, you have to start thinking about yourself more, but don't stop serving others. I've found that finding ways to serve, even outside of church callings, it's helped me to keep the Spirit in my life. Also, brushing my teeth daily. Clean teeth, clean soul.

I completely agree with what they said. Coming home is weird and hard, and there are a lot of ups and downs. My mission president told me in my last interview, that the next year and a half would the best in my life. I thought there is no possible way that could ever happen! But it is true. I am so happy. I have been changed a whole lot for the better and I definitely would not be where I am had I not gone on a mission. I think you all can say the exact same thing, whether it be regarding a mission or some life changing event.

It taught me to take risks, be bold, be caring, loving and kind. It taught me to be patient and persistent. It taught me how to work harder than I had ever worked before. It taught me how to talk to people I never would normally talk to. It taught me how to always look for the good and be confident in my choices, and most importantly above absolutely everything else, it taught me that our Savior lives. That is a pretty sweet realization that I will never take for granted again. But really that alone has completely changed my life. I have never been so happy and so at peace. Even when things are rocky or rough, really there is peace all around. 

So what do we do now? I know what. In the wise words from the movie Meet the Robinsons... "Keep Moving Forward". Be courageous and allow yourself to grow like you did at your prime. I think it is easier sometimes to grow on your mission because you expect yourself to, but why not do that all the time? I know I want to do better at that, and take any opportunity that is given to me. Do not stop progressing just because you can now eat your mom's food or call her anytime you want. Allow that time in our lives to change us, because this way we can do a lot more good than we thought in the first place. I still miss the mission every day. I still get emotional when I think about the people that I miss so much. But I love it here too. I love being able to progress in school and all that other lovely stuff. Life is good, if we just live it. 

Feeling the Savior's Love

One of my friends told me a while ago that when you get home you think everyone is going to H, E, double hockey sticks (hell) and then after a while you think crap I am going to hell, and then eventually you get to the point where you say, "Ah who cares we are all going anyways." Lately I have felt like I am in phase two! 

So let me get sappy and tell you all my deep dark secrets! Gotta love that right. I have told you how I have not been too impressed with my scripture study lately and last post I told you how I was just struggling with being patient and what not. I thought I better put that into better action. 

That day I had had a rough day, and I came home that night and knelt down to pray and I started to cry. I told Heavenly Father I was sorry that I was not better than I am, and I promised I would do better. I promised that I would not read my scriptures on my phone anymore but actually study, no matter how tired I was and that I would be better at noticing people's needs and reach out so that I could feel the spirit more.

All of the sudden I felt like a huge weight was lifted off of my shoulders and I can once again testify of the power of the atonement. It has helped me when I have struggled physically, but really he even cares that sometimes I do not feel adequate enough and he lifts up that burden as well!

That was Tuesday, Wednesday night I have institute and I am taking the Teachings of the Living Prophets class, we were looking over Elder Christensen's talk from last conference titled I know These Things of Myself It talked about how we can follow Joseph Smith's example and find out if these things are true, we talked about what it took to have a pure heart and a willing mind. You can find it all in the talk but it was once again a subtle way the Lord showed me that he was listening and that he cared about a 21 year old girl in Cedar city. 

But I too know of these wonderful things myself. I have had countless experiences like these, and there is no doubt in my mind that the gospel is true. When we grow closer to Heavenly Father it says He grows closer to us. I agree with that, because when we are living the way He has asked us to, it is nearly impossible to not feel his love and presence in our lives. That love is always there. It does not have anything to do with where we've been or even what direction we are heading. It is the here and now. He will always, always give us the strength to change.

Patience is a Virtue....That I have not Mastered Yet

Patience is a funny thing! I have never been very good at it. If I want something, I want to work really hard and get it and be done. Some people call it annoying, my mother calls it determination ;) hahaha but she has to say that!

So since this is something I struggle with, it has been extra hard coming home and feeling like I am not meeting the expectations that I have for myself or worse thinking of what my Heavenly Father had for me. Along with that whole determination factor, I am also more competitive than I should be. I want to be good at everything I do and so when I struggle it really bothers me.

Now that I have given all of my deep dark secrets away, I will tell you what I have done to get over it. There have been some good days and bad days. For a little while I felt like I had life figured out, now more than ever I know that I don't... not even close :) But I do know that I can try, and I can continue to try for the rest of my life.

I wish I could give you a list of steps I took to help with getting over feeling inadequate. But I'll just talk about a few experiences and hope that in someway you can pull out something that will help you.

I absolutely love the scriptures. I love the people and the stories in there and I always tried hard to make my studies effective. But time is a pain in the toosh I tell ya! And my scripture study has been slacking, I have talked about this like 1000 times because it bugs me that it is not better. So I know that it is okay that I still read every day, but not as much as I would hope. It really is okay, yes I know that there is mighty room for growth, but I have no reason to beat myself to a pulp just because I am not as great as I would like to be as long as I am doing something.

I find a lot of comfort in going to church. I know that may sound lame, but man what a sacred place that is. This weekend we were out of town and Sunday morning rolled around and we were sooo tired. We were staying at my sisters house and I had forgotten my make-up and church clothes and it would have been so easy to just keep sleeping and no one would know. I tried to convince myself it would be alright, but I could not shake that guilt feeling. So we went, my boyfriend in a t-shirt and jeans, and I in a borrowed dress. People were so friendly and so kind. They didn't care what we were wearing or if for a bit I may or may not have dozed off it mattered that we were there and it mattered to me that we were there!

I always tell people you know what is right and wrong. But sometimes that line can get a little more blurry the closer you get to it. Even if it is blurry it is okay to just be okay for a bit. Patience is so important, I know that, I know that right now it is not one of my huge strengths, but I do know that because of our Savior, I can totally make that weakness into a strength. Especially in regards to coming home from such a spiritual high.

My mission is soooo sacred to me. It really is a point that I hold highest in my life. I care about the gospel, even more than my family... which is hard to take in but it is true. It is everything to me. Instead of living in the past I am doing my best to take in what I learned and apply it to life right now.

Staying Busy....but Really Missionary Busy?

When you were on your mission for the first time more than ever did you think it was possible to die from tiredness? Oh I totally did!! Holy smokes I was wiped. Sometimes I felt like Baymax on Big Hero 6 when he tries to walk up the stairs. Here is a picture if you have no idea what I am talking about. Oh by the way... this is the best movie ever!!

On my way home I thought to myself, man now I can take a nap!! I get home and I was set on making sure I kept the same missionary schedule. I told you about the time my mom swiped my phone so I would sleep in right? It was funny, I didn't think it was possible to be any busier than a missionary.... I thought wrong.

It is so hard to juggle school, involvement, church callings, family, any social life you would like to have, and work. I am in no wise complaining because I actually really like being busy and having something to do. It may be from the mission, or my self-diagnosed ADD :) haha who's to judge!

I struggled in this area because all of the sudden I was getting buried with things that I knew were not the most important thing in life, but I had to worry about them. Kind of annoying huh. I knew that my school didn't matter a ton if I got to heaven, but it did matter to my happiness for the rest of my life. Does that make sense?

So what do we do? How to we manage both worlds in a way that is exemplary? I really admire the prophets and apostles for this, but I also admire the people I know from growing up in my small town, or the amazing saints I met in Wisconsin, or my friends at school that seem to have life figured out.

I think the best thing is to recognize that we can become too busy. We need to make a list of priorities that are important to us and live by them. Be consistent. I feel that that is the most important thing we can do. Be consistent in our values.

I so wish I had all the answers, I really am trying to hobble along myself. I am not perfect at this lately my scripture study has not been brag worthy whatsoever, but I am trying, and I know you are two. That is what truly matters. Never stop. Never give up, just because you think you are not doing as well as you would have hoped for.

Here is another article link I found about time management it is super super solid!! https://www.lds.org/general-conference/1992/04/unclutter-your-life?lang=eng&query=time+management

Are you a Return Missionary? Here are some great resources I found!

I have been sharing lots of my favorite things lately, but I have been finding some really cool stuff about being a returned missionary, and by that I mean a super awkward human being of society. Hey you've got to own it right :)

lds.living has tons of really good stuff. I loved this article they wrote that says if RMs (return missionaries) understood this they'd be happier. It's talks about how you always have the highest hope for the people you meet and baptize into the church. You are hopeful they will stay active their entire lives and become the next Bishop or Relief Society President. That is not always the case, it is hard. I can attest to that. A lot of the people I met on the mission and who chose to be baptized have fallen away. It completely breaks my heart. I have never felt anxiety before, but I do for these people because I love them so much. It's tough, you worry about them every day and every night, I am not sure that will ever change. If you can relate to that, or have felt depressed or confused or sad about anything regarding the topic, check out the article, here is the link:

http://universe.byu.edu/2015/03/12/rms-keep-the-badge-on-their-hearts-think-back-to-mission-converts/

Now if you want pure gold, you will read this, it will make you a little teary-eyed and remind you of good times and.... not so good times! This is an article from Deseret News about 12 things every missionary remembers.

http://www.deseretnews.com/article/765671212/12-moments-every-returned-missionary-remembers.html?pg=all&clear_cache=1

One return Sister Missionary, wrote about how she felt about coming home. I am so glad that there are more people out there who feel the way I feel. Whenever I read articles like this I am reminded of what I am doing in my life. She talks about a lot of the things that I have thought about. I feel like I have now hit the point where I realize that I am falling short in a lot of things I should be doing. I read my scriptures every night, but when I am super tired I just pull out my phone and scroll through a little bit. Definitely not like I used to study. It bugs me that I do that, I always told myself I wouldn't but here ya go. Luckily, very very luckily I know I can change. Life is not going to get less busy (although I cross my fingers for one day that it won't be) but I will learn how to prioritize more productively. Here is the link to the article:

http://www.whatsoeverisgood.com/how-it-feels-to-be-a-sister-returned-missionary/

On a lighter subject, I have linked up to this blog before but I love how they decorated for their missionary's homecoming, it is sooo cute!

http://www.blogcrew.com/main-blog/2014/8/12/my-girl-is-finally-home?rq=missionary

When I started writing this blog for my class I had been home less than a month. Weird right. Time seriously never slows down it is the pits. I started looking into teachings the church had for us "awkwardies" (yes I made that up myself, has a nice ring to it) and reading articles and trying to improve who I was, now looking back on it I can see a little bit of how the advice works. It is always pretty tough when you are going through whatever your going through and trying to soak in the advice and teachings and apply them to their very best, especially because you don't want to let anyone down. I know I am that way, hindsight is much clearer and I can see that even though I was doing my best, and knowing I was falling short. I was doing okay. I go at my own pace whether that is super fast or super slow, it varies daily :) Here is some advice though for the Returned Missionary:

http://www.thereturnedmissionary.com/advice-for-returned-missionaries/

How cool huh, there is a whole stinking website on it :) Saweet!!!!!

This next article I found is great and a little funny. It was written at BYU about the Dos and Don'ts of helping missionaries adjust. They are really good. Some I am not a die hard supporter of, but what doesn't work for me may be perfect for someone else, and vice versa.... you pickin up what I'm puttin down? :)

http://universe.byu.edu/2015/02/19/blog-what-to-do-and-what-not-to-do-to-help-rms-adjust/

I could go on for a while, I mean there is some solid good stuff out there. But I will end with linking you to the best places of resource. lds.org and mormon.org there you can find answers and a whole lot of peace. I am grateful that we do not have to do this alone, no matter how weird we may be. We have so many tools to help us get by, but not only that, I am positive the Savior has helped one or two return missionaries transition ;) and he will definitely help you. I can say that because of the way I have felt his love and guidance in the past 3.5 months of being home.