Bryce shared this little number:
"One evening within the first few days of me being back... My family and I were leaving out the front door to go somewhere. I was in front of everyone ready to leave and then I had "missionary muscle memory" kick in as I began to kneel to pray before we left out the door. My whole family thought it was the funniest thing ! I did to.. I was dyin."
Kami shared this:
"So the fellas expect a hug and the end of the date. And instead of giving a hug you change the conversation to.... Giving his car a name. Then he gives you a hug and you lean in like Sheldon off the Big Bang Theory and awkwardly embrace!" -- Who can relate to this? Hands in the air!!
Kaohi said:
"So my funny is story is coming home and not understanding social media and what is the "in" site to use. My cousins had to explain it to me in different examples of the same experience to help me understand what I should post on Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter because it has changed.
Also getting a phone and asking my 9 year old sister to help me figure out how to work it. And then her shaking her head and saying, "oh kaohi!"
Oh and not being able to leave my mothers side or be alone. Sometimes I would have to resort to taking my dog with me so I'm not alone :)"
Lorri shared this, I was laughing really hard on this one because I almost shared a mormon.org card with a girl in Cafe Rio in Salt Lake City when I first got home... pretty sure she had heard about the church before:
"After boarding the New York Chinatown bus around midnight, I found an empty seat and hoped to relax and maybe even sleep during the four hour trip to Washington DC. I was on my way to meet my mission trainer, who was getting married, and college friend, who randomly knew my trainer. A flustered girl about my age plopped down on the seat next to me. She thought for a few moments then turned to me and said "I'm sorry by I just have to talk with someone. I just lost my favorite shoes in a cab." I listened to her recount her terrible day of an interview and then losing her shoes, which sounds like it would be brief but I got no sleep on the 4 hour bus ride. Since I had contacted lots of people on public transportation on my mission, it felt totally natural and normal to bring up the gospel with this girl. I don’t remember how I did it exactly but I awkwardly invited her to learn about Jesus Christ. She shot me down before I even had the whole sentence out. She wanted to talk forever about things important to her: the shoes and the interview. I wanted to talk about something important to me: religion. It seemed like a fair and normal exchange except I had brought up the taboo subject of my personal belief in Jesus Christ. Apparently I had a lot to learn and remember about how to deal with strangers in America."
Adam, my brother-in-law shared this, one of the first things he said to me was referring to this... followed by that lovely little question:
"Not the most awkward, but rather, the most common awkward event that happens to all RM's all came down to a single, solitary, yet extremely loaded, question: "How was your mission?
This frequently used question is rarely used in a setting in which a RM has an appropriate amount of time to give a quality summary of past years events, But typically used in the place of casual salutations in situation like waiting in line at a grocery store, in the hall between church meetings, or mid-wave from the old guy in his garden while you are on your morning jog.
How does one expect a quality crisp answer in such candid situations? And how could a person abridge 1 1/2 - 2 years into small phrase or paragraph while still doing your mission justice?
Also, there are serious ramifications if you answer poorly. If you answer the question with "It was fun", People are quick to judge you as a Goof-off. If your answer is "It was tough", then you are a sissy because "garden grandpa's" granddaughter served and it was not tough. If "it was a good time", then you didnt take the mission serious and you short-changed the Lord.
It's awkward. It's an inevitable question. I personal chose to use the response, "It was great!" then nothing more to preserve the integrity of my mission and the reputation I have in the mind of the old folk in the neighborhood.
As much as I hate that question. I undoubtedly use it on every recently returned missionary.... Because it part of the RM experience."
Lexi said:
"So my family isn't really into public praying over food and stuff like that. We live by the spirit of having a prayer in your heart. However, on my mission I got into the habit of saying a vocal prayer when at restaurants. My first lunch after getting home we went to a local restaurant that I love. We got our food and I folded my arms and looked expectantly at my parents. They both looked at me like I was a little crazy, then at each other. They laughed and reluctantly folded their arms and I said the prayer. They teased me for a while after that one. I said prayers in my head at restaurants when I was with them after that.
Justin said:
"I would always answer the phone by saying, 'Hey, this is Elder Brown."
Kelly shared:
"One time I said "gracias" to an Asian lady in a candy store!" and "there's the classic you shake a man's hand, not hug. And a guy goes in for a hug and you extend your hand and he awkwardly body shakes you!"
Okay this one is probably my favorite Carson said:
"I work at SUU, and we had to make phone calls out to students to promote something for the school. If they didn’t answer, we were supposed to leave a message. As I was leaving a message to a student, I gave him the information about the activity and accidentally ended it with “And I say these things in the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.” I caught myself right before I finished the whole phrase by hanging up."
Well I sure hope you have enjoyed these as much as I have. Holy smokes, at least they help you realize you are so not alone in being this awkward... and if you haven't experienced this well, you've got some work to do.
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